A Matter of Privacy
by LadySirius32158
Summary: Remus Lupin is a private person, especially when it comes to his relationship with Sirius. But what can he do when James sets him up with a date for his wedding?
1. A Tricky Situation

TITLE: A Matter of Privacy

AUTHOR: Lady Sirius

PAIRING: RL/SB

RATING: NC17

FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling

- I only wish that Sirius and Remus were mine, other than in my heart!

DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy

inspiration - Gary Oldman - and to my Remus - Amber - for whose friendship and devotion I shall be everlastingly grateful.

A Matter of Privacy

Chapter One - A Tricky Situation

Remus J. Lupin is a very private person. He prides himself on being the epitome of privacy and discretion. Some consider him to be closemouthed, shy even, difficult to get to know. But his friends realize that still waters run deep and like an iceberg, there is much more of him beneath the surface than most people give him credit for. But there is also much that he chooses to keep hidden, because he feels it is his right to do so. And among these things is his relationship with one Sirius Black.

Remus and Sirius share a flat - Sirius' flat to be precise - obtained with the money left to him by his Uncle Alphard, after he was disowned by his family for a variety of reasons, one of which was Remus Lupin. They have shared this flat ever since they left Hogwarts, and live together quite happily there. They have also been a couple, in the romantic sense of the word - not just the two people who happen to occupy the same space kind of way - quite happily ever since their fifth year together at Hogwarts. But this is something they choose not to share with anyone. Mostly because Remus doesn't wish to share this. That privacy thing he has going on. Sirius goes along with what Remus says in this, as in most things, because he loves him to distraction, and would do anything for him, but sometimes it bothers him. He wishes that when they were in public together, he could take Remus' hand and simply hold it. Or turn to him on the spur of the moment, and get a kiss. Put an arm around his shoulder when Remus takes him to the muggle cinema - even in the darkness of the theater, the werewolf observes proprieties. Which only elicits a stifled sigh from Sirius when he watches the couples around them involved in activities that run the gamut from handholding to fullfledged snogging - and wishes that he could tell the world that he loves Remus Lupin with the last breath of his body. But he cannot, and he accepts the way things are, because of his great love for Remus.

But sometimes there are Fates that care not for the well-ordered plans of lycanthropes and animagi, who like to throw a spanner in the works, and bullocks things up a bit. . .

Remus stands in the kitchen of their flat, at the stove to be precise, stirring the sauce he has made, and which he has timed down to the nth degree to be ready precisely when the pasta is. Okay, maybe to be even more precise, it is glorified macaroni and cheese. But they are on a budget, and must do what they can. Sirius has his job as an auror, but it is difficult for Remus to obtain work - and keep it - because people cannot see past the stigma attached to something which he is neither responsible for, and which he is not controlled by, other than one night a month, and they define him by this condition, and find that they have no place for him within their employ. For now, though, he has found employment part-time in a nice book store - Stolen Hours, by name. But he does not work many hours, and spends most of his time tidying up the flat, and having dinner ready for Sirius when he returns from the Ministry.

Remus has steamed some fresh broccoli to go with the pasta, and will add a bit of last night's leftover chicken, and today he has baked a loaf of bread, the aroma of which fills the flat, giving it a very homey quality indeed. He sniffs appreciatively at the scent, knowing that it will hit Sirius' nostrils upon entering the building, even as he climbs the four floors to reach Remus and home. And he knows that his puppy will appreciate it as well.

Sure enough, there is the door to the outside world opening now - he'd know that creak anywhere. How often has he waited for just that sound, waiting for Sirius to appear, tired from his day of work, happy to be back with his heart again. He gives the sauce a final stir - it'll be fine while he greets his lover - wipes his hands upon the apron that he wears - the one that Sirius bought him which says Kiss the Cook, of course. But Sirius has picked out part of the threading on the second o, so that now it resembles a c - and Remus only wears it when it is the two of them together, never in front of company. Their own personal joke. He moves toward the door, a smile of welcome prepared for his lover, for he has missed him greatly, even the few hours that they have been apart.

The door to the flat opens, and the first thing that Remus sees is a hand - a very familiar hand - thrust through the opening, within its grasp a bunch of pink and yellow daisies. Remus recognizes them - they grow just outside the flat - in the landlady's windowbox, in fact. She prides herself on being able to grow them, even in October, when most blossoms are but a faded memory in someone's scrapbook. He frowns for a moment, thinking she'll have their heads for this. "Sirius, get in here," he says, restraining the growl that rises in the back of his throat at the thought of placating the irrascible Mrs. Dingledine - again.

A second hand appears - how Sirius manages that without the rest of his body showing is beyond Remus, but there he is and there is a box of chocs in his hand - cream-filled, even, the way that Remus likes them. Now the wolf's suspicions are definitely roused. What the hell has Sirius done now that he feels the need to buy Remus off like this, especially when money is so tight that a piece of chocolate is a rare treat indeed, much less a box - for as much as Remus would love to have more, he knows they cannot afford it and he makes no complaint. So whatever it is, it can't be good, and the youth braces himself, even as he repeats, "Sirius, get your arse in here..."

And now here he is - whole, complete, and in the flesh - and looking amazingly guilty. Which only makes Remus' heart thump faster in his chest as he began to imagine the worst. He's been fired - he's killed someone he shouldn't - someone knows about us - or, worst of all - he's found someone else and he's in love with him! He begins to breathe heavily, panting painfully, as his imagination runs away with him, for Remus has always been amazed that of all the people in the world, Sirius Black chose him, for he feels that he is nowhere near good enough for him. And now perhaps Sirius has figured that out as well.

"Remy, you know I love you..." Sirius begins in a voice that is almost a whine. Well, part of Remus' fears are allayed with those words but not all.

"Set that lot down and come into the kitchen before I burn dinner," Remus grumbles, turning away lest Sirius see the tears in his eyes which he hastily wipes away, tears of relief even, that Sirius is still his. He knows the other boy will follow him. And of course he does.

Remus drains the pasta carefully in the collander in the sink, before rinsing it and turning it into a casserole dish, and adding the cheese sauce, which he stirs thoroughly. Then the broccoli florets, and the chicken, and then he sets it into the oven to warm through, which won't take long. Then he turns back to his lover, having calmed down a tad. "All right, Sirius, what's this all about then?" he inquires in a no-nonsense voice.

"Well, I was talking to James at work today," Sirius begins, twisting his tie about between his fingers - he hates wearing this thing, claims it chokes him, stifles him even, although he wore one every day for seven years at Hogwarts - for some reason it has come to symbolize pain and suffering to him. Remus suspects he is just a big ham, and ignores most of that. That and Sirius' unwillingness to follow conformity of any kind.

"You talk to James every day," Remus responds.

"Well, yus, I do... but he was talking about the wedding..."

"He's _always_ talking about the wedding, Sirius, is there a point to this?"

"Yes, if you'll let me get to it." That comes out sharper than intended. Remus' head lifts in surprise, his eyes widening slightly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Sirius hastily amends, reaching for one of Remus' hands, and he strokes the back of it gently.

James Potter has finally persuaded one Lily Evans to marry him - it took years of doing, though. Even just to get her to go out with him. But love has triumphed in the end, and the wedding is coming up soon, and both Remus and Sirius are excited for their friends.

"Well, he's asked me to be his best man, Remus..."

"Sirius, I know that, remember? I was there when he asked you." Remus is getting really nervous now. Whatever this is it must be really unpleasant.

"Yes, but today he explained to me something he kindof forgot to mention before, about being best man and all..." Sirius, being pureblood and unversed in the ways of muggles, knows nothing about muggle weddings whatsoever, and Remus' experience with them is rather limited. So he is clueless as to what Sirius is going on about.

"What? That you have to give him the bachelor party?" Remus wrinkles his brow in concentration, trying to remember what little he does know. "That's no big deal, we'll just take him out to a pub, with Pete, and get him snookered."

"No, it's not that," Sirius maintains, and he finds the words hard to get out of his mouth. "It's...it's..."

"It's what? Sirius, you're scaring me..." And Remus does look very terrified at this moment.

"It's just that as best man I have to go with the maid of honor and that is Hestia Jones!" Sirius blurts out at last.

"You what?" Remus blinks. Quickly. The more he blinks, the more upset he is. And at this moment he looks like a poster child for the semaphore society.

"Remy, I have to go with Hestia to the wedding!" Sirius' voice is both sorrowful and fearful, as he waits to see the reaction to those words. "I mean...as a date...cause he thinks I'm...you know...straight...and unattached..."

It always comes to that, doesn't it? Remus draws his lips into a thin line, but it is obvious how very unhappy he is. He busies himself at the oven, takes out the casserole, and serves two portions of it, along with the fresh bread, and a cup of tea each.

"Sit down and eat," he says gruffly, but his voice cannot disguise his pain.

"Remy..." Sirius tries to draw him into his arms, but Remus pulls back. "Just eat!" he snaps, and flees to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him, before he loses control and begins to cry, leaving a tearful Sirius behind him.


	2. Another Fly In The Ointment

TITLE: A Matter of Privacy

AUTHOR: Lady Sirius

PAIRING: RL/SB

RATING: NC17

FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling

- I only wish that Sirius and Remus were mine, other than in my heart!

DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy

inspiration - Gary Oldman - and to my Remus - Amber - for whose friendship and devotion I shall be everlastingly grateful.

A Matter of Privacy

Chapter Two - Another Fly in the Ointment

Remus Lupin picks morosely at his food, pushing it around on his plate as if he were an engineer trying to design a new type of road or something, not even seeing what it is, actually. He tunes out the happy chatter of those about him, not even noticing that Sirius' voice is not among those, and not caring. He has been invited to this dinner at James' place as more of an afterthought - as in if we don't let him come, he'll sit at home and mope alone, so let's give him the pity-invite. Right. Otherwise the guest list consists of the members of the wedding party - James and Lily, of course. Sirius. And Hestia. He tries not to glower at her too obviously, but the wolf inside wishes to rip her head off. And shit down her neck. Of course he controls him, even as he thinks what a pity it is that he can't watch that happen. Remus is clearly not himself tonight at all.

Hestia - he can't help but steal glances at her. They've sat her beside Sirius. How fucking obvious can they be? Lily is blatantly playing matchmaker, and Hestia is going along with it all. Not that other girls haven't tried, of course they have. He's found their notes in the mailbox, tucked into Sirius' pockets, thrown at him even as they walk down the street together - which the oblivious animagi never seems to notice - and when he collects them and presents them to Sirius, his lover merely laughs and chucks them all, claiming he has no need for them, he has Remus. But this - this is different. Hestia has something about her, something different - an almost masculine quality, but in a feminine way, if that makes any sense. And she loves quidditch as much as Sirius does - no matter how Remus tries, he cannot get into it, nor discuss it in any intelligent sort of way, cause he just doesn't give a damn. But Sirius and Hestia have heated, rollocking discussions on the subject - and dammit, why is she looking at _his_ Sirius that way?

At least they're not talking about fucking quidditch now. No, the topic for discussion is the wedding. Much better. NOT.

"When do I get to see your dress?" James is complaining, and Remus can hear the gentle smack of Lily's hand upon his arm.

"At the wedding!" she laughs, "and not a moment before!" Hestia is giggling as if that is the biggest joke in the world. Remus has never seen her act so girly before. So... flirtatious. It seems as if every time he looks up, she is touching _his_ Sirius, and it requires all of his self-control not to explode right then and there. Does it assuage his injured feelings even a tiny bit that Sirius doesn't look as if he is enjoying it at all? No, not really, Remus is too far gone to be that logical.

"Hestia, your dress is in!" Lily exclaims, "let's go try them on, why don't we?" As if they hadn't just had their fittings, and that for the men as well? Hmmph!

"Sirius," Hestia begins to wheedle, standing behind him and fingering those long dark tresses, which he pulls irritably from her grasp, "Come on, I'll give you a look-see of what you'll be getting that night..."

Remus clenches his jaw tightly. Good thing he isn't eating, he'd have choked over her words.

Sirius looks distinctly uncomfortable, squirming away from her demanding fingers. "No, I'm good," he says, "I'll just wait and be surprised, shan't I?"

"Okay, but if you change your mind, come on back to James' room," Hestia giggles, leaning so close to him that her breath is on his ear. He tries not to be too obvious when he bends over his plate, as if it were suddenly the most fascinating object in the room. The two girls trip off gaily, leaving the gentlemen to their own devices.

Instantly, Sirius straightens up, and begins to moan, "James, I don't want to do this and you fucking know it!"

"Do what?" James looks surprised. "Be my best man? Sirius!"

"No, don't be a prat, that's not what I mean. The part about hooking up with Hestia. I don't want to date Hestia. I don't want to date anyone..." He tries not to glance at Remus, but how can he not be aware of how miserable the lycanthrope is? And how strained things have become between them since the day Sirius told him of the news. This would be a good time for Remus to speak up, and claim what is his...but his lips remain sealed. Sirius sighs.

"Look, I've not seen you date anyone since school, I worry about you Padfoot," Prongs replies. "It's obvious that Hestia likes you, she's a nice girl. So have a little fun, why don't you? 'Sides, I wanted to ask Moony something."

Remus jerks his head up in surprise. "Me? What've I done?"

"Nothing yet, relax, mate," James laughs. "I just wanted to ask you if you would do a favour for Lils. One of her cousins is coming from the continent for the occasion, and she doesn't know anyone here... so..."

"So you want me find her a date?" Remus asks, confused.

"Not exactly, Lils has already told her you'd be her date..."

"Wh-what-what?" Remus splutters, spittle falling from his lips in his excitement. Sirius quietly hands him a napkin, when normally he would have used his own finger. But appearances...

"It's only for one night, Remus, and it won't hurt you to have a date. Either of you. It must be awful boring, just the two of you in that little flat, night after night after night..."

Boring isn't the word Remus would use, and neither would Sirius. Fun, happy, cozy, intimate, loving, together - these are the words they would use - but how to explain that to James? They can't.

"Her name is Cosette, you can just meet her at the house, right before the wedding, I'll point her out to you. Or something. Maybe I'll tell her to wear a big red carnation in her buttonhole," he teases, breaking into a big guffaw.

"What about Peter? Why doesn't he take her?" Remus suddenly suggests, "don't want him to complain, now we do?"

"Peter might not make it he said," James frowns, "I'm not sure why. I think there's something going on with him. We never see him any more..."

Neither did any of them, actually, and the three fall silent for a moment.

"James, why don't you get Frank to be your best man? He won't mind, I'm sure..."

"Oh ho, like hell he won't - Alice would skin him alive and you know it. Besides, Pads, you're my best friend, who else would I ask?" And James turns his big expressive eyes on Sirius, who simply scowls and looks away.

"Don't wanna date," he says stubbornly.

"Okay, give me one good reason why not, and I won't make you," James declares. "Mind you, I said one _good_ reason. And I'll be the judge of it."

Sirius bites his lip thoughtfully. How badly he just wants to scream out, 'Because I am in love with someone, very much in love, and I'm happy with him and he with me, and I don't want to date Hestia, or anyone else!' Surreptitiously, he peeps from beneath his lashes at Remus, who looks like a model for the Easter Island statuary. No help in that quarter, obviously. _Please, Remy, please, _he intones to himself. But not a peep does he hear. He sighs loudly.

"Thought not," James grins. "It'll be fun, you'll see. It's about time you met the right girl and settled down, anyway. Both of you." He claps each of them on their shoulders. "Excuse me, gents, nature calls," as he exits the room for the loo.

The puppies are alone now. But they aren't speaking, as a heavy silence descends between them.


	3. The Bachelor Party

TITLE: A Matter of Privacy

AUTHOR: Lady Sirius

PAIRING: RL/SB

RATING: NC17

FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling

- I only wish that Sirius and Remus were mine, other than in my heart!

DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy

inspiration - Gary Oldman - and to my Remus - Amber - for whose friendship and devotion I shall be everlastingly grateful.

A Matter of Privacy

Chapter Three - The Bachelor Party

Is it surprising that Sirius ends up hosting the bachelor party as well? Not really, Remus grimaces, just another thorn in his side. At least the girls won't be there - they are off doing something on their own - Lily and Hestia - and Lily's mysterious cousin Cosette, whom he has yet to meet and doesn't really want to, and a few other of Lily's female friends, such as Alice and Sirius' cousin Andromeda.

As for the gentleman's party, that consists of James, Sirius, Remus, Frank, Dedalus Diggle, Ted Tonks and Mundungus Fletcher, Dung having wormed his way in at the last moment, Merlin knows why. But, as Sirius said so eloquently, Why the fuck not, one more pallbearer is just what we need.

The seven gentlemen sit in a private room at the Leaky Cauldron, pitchers of butterbeer upon the table, and flasks of firewhiskey being passed around between them. Remus is aware of some of the things that go on at such an event, including but not limited to strippers and loose women and such, and it is his fervent hope that Sirius has planned for none of these things. Of course, he could simply ask him. But that would involve actually speaking to him, something which, as the wedding draws nearer and nearer, they seem to do less and less of.

They are both thoroughly unhappy puppies, their misery a stark contrast to the gaiety of the others.

Mundungus is in his element, as he shows them some items he has "acquired" recently, for which he is seeking a buyer.

"I hope you got those from someone on the other side," James quips, casting his eyes over the booty on the table, and wondering to himself how much Dung is asking for that stunning aquamarine bracelet. Just the sort of thing Lily would like. Providing he didn't tell her of its origins, of course.

"Indeed, indeed," Mundungus laughs. "They were tucked away in the safe. I suspect no one wears these babies. Not in that house anyway." And he chuckles to himself as if he has some sort of private knowledge.

"Go on, whose house was it?" Ted asks curiously. He is just a bit tipsy. Being a married man, he seldom goes out with the boys, so this is a real occasion for him. Baby Nymphy has been left with his mother, who adores her, while her parents are out celebrating the fortune of their good friends.

Mundungus leans across the table confidentially, his eyes shifting from person to person. "Let's just say that the couple who own this aren't what you might expect to find in high society..." His eyebrows arch significantly.

"What, they're muggle?" Ted frowns, not liking the sound of that.

"No, that's wizard jewelery, I can tell," Frank interjects, picking up one of the pieces and examining it. "Seen too much of it at the Ministry, in raids, not to know... Fact, I saw something a lot like this, last time we had a go at Malfoy Manor..." He gives Dung a curious look. "You pop this from Lucius?"

Mundungus merely smiles enigmatically.

"Can't be Lucius, he said couple," James protests, until something begins to dawn on him. "Oh yes, I forgot, Narcissa, whyn't you say so? They're married, they're strange, yes, but not that strange..."

Mundungus chuckles again. "You learn a lot of things by breaking and entering, my friend..."

"What kind of things?" the curious Dedalus wants to know. He sits back in his chair, a guitar in his hands, and strums on it, providing background music of sorts. "What sort of paper they use in the loo? The colour of their sheets? Or something more interesting - maybe that they have whips and chains in the master bedroom?"

"Funny you should say that," Dung laughs, "There are two master bedrooms, apparently..."

"Two, whatever for?" Ted asks, obliviously.

James looks sharply at Fletcher. "Two? As in his and hers? As in they sleep separately? Not uncommon for those sort, you know? Right, Sirius? Didn't your parents have separate chambers too? Lots do..."

Sirius makes no reply, he isn't paying any attention to them, he's watching the light play over Remus' face, the way it falls into his eyes, and makes them an even deeper topaz; he watches the frown lines that etch his mouth, the ones that Sirius wishes to kiss away. He wants to kiss everything away, make it all right, but he can't - he can't - and the knowledge is killing him.

"Sirius?" Ded gently nudges him with the neck of the guitar, and he starts.

"Wha?" Which only succeeds in causing the others to laugh. Other than Remus, that is.

"Ah, but you see gentlemen, it isn't quite that simple," Mundungus continues, pontificates even - he is ever one to take the spotlight, when he isn't stealing, that is. "It's definitely his and hers - but it's more like his and his...and then hers..."

"Whatever does that mean?"a confused Ted reaches for the butterbeer, feeling that he is falling behind more and more in this strange conversation.

"Dung, are you saying what I think you are?" James begins to smile, and then to laugh, and then he begins to out and out guffaw, braying like a donkey in heat. His laughter is infectious and soon the entire table is chortling. Other than the puppies, of course, but no one seems to notice.

"Yes, I am," Mundungus confirms, "Mr. Malfoy has a boyfriend..."

"I wonder who?" Frank speculates, as he pours another round for them all. "Any ideas?"

"Possibly..." the thief says mysteriously.

"Tell, tell, tell!" they all clamour, as Ded jumps up on the table, strumming even louder, as he begins to sing, "Frog went a courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh. Frog went a courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh. Frog went a courtin' and he did ride, with a sword and a pistol by his side, uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh..." He begins to stomp about on the table, and the others are hard put to move their drinks out of his way as he tromps about the glasses and the pitchers, which shake at his passage. "GENTLEMEN!" he yells, "let's get naked!"

More laughter as they attempt to get him down onto the floor once more, which they finally succeed in doing, but is that better as now he is beginning to strip?

Loud banging is heard on their door, as if someone is trying to tell them to keep it down in there.

"Up yours!" James calls out, for he is more than three sheets to the wind, and even when sober is wont to be reckless. Drinking only makes him more so.

"Up yours!" the rest of his mates take up the cry - minus Remus and Sirius, of course, who sit in stolid silence, unnoticed.

The door suddenly flies open, and laughter is definitely the order of the day as one irate platinum blonde stands there, serpentine cane in hand, glaring at them openly. Dedalus he gives a very skeptical look, as by now he is down to his skivvies - and still going. "If I'd wished to find myself in a bordello, gentlemen - and I use the term quite loosely - I'd have done so. Either control yourselves or find another place to... play..." he says disdainfully.

"Now, now, Luci, don't be getting your knickers in a twist," Mundungus snickers, which only produces hoots from the others.

Lucius is less than pleased with his remark of course, but before he can respond, a dark shadow looms behind him... and James bursts a gut laughing - what exquisite timing! Just the person he has been thinking of, and now their very juxtaposition confirms his suspicions. "Snivellus!" he cries, "you and Luci are welcome to join us! We're having a bachelor party, for moi!"

Severus frowns at this vulgar display of frivolity, shakes his head at them. Lord, how he hates them - especially those two, as he spots Remus and Sirius, sitting among their number. "Lucius, let us just leave. It's not worth the effort..."

"Aw, wanna kiss and make up somewhere else?" James goads them, gratified to see a flush spring up on Snape's cheeks. Bingo! He has hit the target! What a red-letter day! He'll have to remember to thank Sirius for this later. "Got a hot date? How do you get away with this, doesn't Narcissa care? Or does she have her own boytoy stashed away somewhere for her own amusement?"

"You will not talk about my wife that way!" Lucius snarls, and in a flash he has drawn his wand from its holder, but just as quickly James has drawn his - as has half the table. Wizard's version of a Mexican stand-off.

"I suggest we take this outside," James challenges the two wizards.

"I'm sure you would like that," Severus sneers, "since you clearly outnumber us."

"Fine, then just me and Sirius. Us against you. Cmon, Sirius..."

Sirius is brought sharply back to the present. What the fuck is going on? When did _they_ get here? And why? And why does everyone have their wands drawn? But suddenly he has this irresistible urge to fight. To get his hands dirty. To hurt someone. To take away this pain.

He catches Remus' eye - Remus is imploring him, silently, not to do it - he can read that expression very well - and he is so torn. He signals back his frustration, his inability to cope with the situation before them...begging for something from his lover...anything... But he receives nothing...it is so maddening...

"Coming, James," he says at last, starting to rise from the table.

But someone is watching out over drunken revellers this night, for in comes the cavalry in the form of the females, and they pour through the door like a noisy gaggle of hens, pushing Lucius and Severus aside as they do so, who simply take this opportunity to quietly leave, to Sirius' disappointment. He'd rather tangle with them than with the women, and it's clear he's going to have his hands full with Hestia, indeed.

Andromeda has found a seat on her husband's lap and the two of them are snogging like newlyweds, while Lily and James are greeting each other as if it had been years, not just mere hours. Ditto Alice and Frank. The mysterious French cousin - for whom else can this strange girl be, but Cosette? - is goggling wide-eyed at Dedalus, who is propped up against one wall, casually discussing with her the merits of legalizing marijuana, oblivious to the fact that he is quite starkers. And Hestia? Well, Hestia is snookered and in the mood for what - love? sex? affection? Sirius doesn't know, but he knows he wants no part of it as she attempts to take a seat on his lap.

His cheeks flame, as he points to the nearest chair. "Hestia, we have enough seats. Honestly. This isn't necessary..."

"No, but it's fun," she giggles as she hangs herself around his neck like a cheap boa - constrictor or fashion accessory, take your pick. "Do you know how very cute you are, Siri?"

Sirius winces, both at her words, and at her use of his nickname - the one that only Remus is allowed to use, just as Remy is his sole property. He knows without looking that Remus is livid, and a quick glance confirms that. "Don't call me that," he warns her quietly, but firmly, reaching for his glass. Merlin, he wishes he were passed out about now, so he wouldn't have to deal with this.

"You know you're not supposed to be here," James is telling Lily, "it's a bachelor party," but from his expression he is anything but dissatisfied with her presence. And none of the other men seem to be objecting. In fact the only unhappy faces belong to Remus and Sirius.

"What shall I call you, handsome, sexy, adorable? How about the sex god?"

"Sirius will be just fine," he says, trying to maintain a certain level of politeness before he tells her to sod off. Which, of course, he can't do, considering the wedding and all, which has to be gotten through.

"Siri, will you be my boyfriend?" Hestia suddenly giggles, just before she plants a big wet one on him unexpectedly.

"Go, Sirius, go Sirius, go Sirius," the chant begins with Dung but is picked up by one and all - except for one obvious exception. "Go, go, GO, GO, GO!"

Sirius is flailing his hands ineffectually - isn't that a clear sign that he is NOT enjoying this? Damn, she's strong for a broad, he thinks to himself, but he finally manages to disentangle himself - just in time to see Remus slip quietly out the door. DAMN!

He glances reproachfully at Hestia, who has no idea of what she has done - of course. How could she? How could anyone understand? And suddenly he feels the need to leave this place, for it stifles him - and his heart is breaking in two, and he just cannot bear any more. He rises from his place at the table, says apologetically to James, "Sorry, mate, I'm not feeling so good, I'll talk to you later," and before James can protest, or offer any more of his inane suggestions - Hestia was bad enough, thank you very much - Sirius quickly exits the room, threads his way around the tables of drunks that lie between him and the exit, and is shortly thereafter standing beneath the clear night sky. He looks about him, his heart thumping loudly, painfully - but there is no sign of Remus anywhere. Is he really surprised? No, not really, as the tears begin to course down his cheeks, unchecked.


	4. The Aftermath of the Wedding of James an

TITLE: A Matter of Privacy

AUTHOR: Lady Sirius

PAIRING: RL/SB

RATING: NC17

FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling

- I only wish that Sirius and Remus were mine, other than in my heart!

DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy

inspiration - Gary Oldman - and to my Remus - Amber - for whose friendship and devotion I shall be everlastingly grateful.

A Matter of Privacy

Chapter Four - The Aftermath of the Wedding of James and Lily - aka the Reception

Lily Evans, now Potter, is a most radiant bride, and James a handsome groom, looking as if they've just stepped off the top of a wedding cake - which in a way they did, for the witch who made their cake was able to make toppers that looked just like them, and everyone oohed and aahed over the miniature figures that danced together atop the ivory icing.. It was a beautiful wedding, everyone agreed, held in the park-like expanse of the Potter's estate, and attended by wizard and muggle alike. Although the muggles were kept blissfully ignorant of any of the magical doings involved, and simply saw what they needed to see to keep them from having their memories erased. Sirius did his part as best man, but his heart wasn't in it, not at all, it was with the tawny haired boy who sat alone, even though he was surrounded by the other guests - and in their eyes were mirrored their unhappiness, although they wore happy masks to keep from disappointing their friends.

The night before, after the bachelor party, had been pure nightmare. When Sirius returned to the flat, Remus wasn't there, much to his surprise. He lay awake and waited for him in their bed, hour after hour, until sometime after dawn, he heard the door to the flat open, and he held his breath as Remus entered, waiting for him to come into their bedroom. But he never did, and Sirius could hear the creak of the couch as he settled himself upon it. And he cried himself to sleep.

And now the reception is in full swing, everyone is dancing and laughing and it is undoubtedly a great success, forming the basis for many happy memories for years to come. For some, at least. Not so for others.

Sirius steals away from the bridal party. He needs a fag. And he needs some privacy. He finds a spot behind a grove of trees, slides down to the ground, his back against a tree, and lights up gratefully. This is one habit he is trying to break, because it is anathema to Remus - the sensitive nose of the wolf after all. And for the most part he does well. But there are times, particularly in times of stress, or when on a job for the Order, when he just has to have one. Like now.

He is startled to hear a familiar voice. "Got another one of those?" as James slides down beside him.

"Don't tell me you've left your lovely bride all alone?" Sirius teases him, handing him a fag which James lights with his wand.

"Just for a minute," he confesses, "don't worry, she's got her mom, all her friends, she won't miss me for a minute. So, why aren't you in there dancing with Hestia? She's been looking for you, mate?"

Sirius shrugs. "Don't feel like dancing, that's all. Is that such a crime?"

"Guess not," James blows out a puff of smoke, forming a perfect ring. "Damn, I'm good," he laughs. Then he turns serious again. "Life is difficult at the best of times, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" SIrius frowns, regarding him carefully.

"I know that things are getting rough, what with this war coming and all, and maybe this wasn't the best time for this, but I want you to be the first to know - Lily and I are having a baby..."

Sirius is speechless, gazing up at James, thunderstruck, for several minutes. "That's...that's...well, it's wonderful, mate...congratulations..."

"We didn't exactly plan it, but it happened, and we couldn't be happier," James grinned. "By our calculations, he should be arriving some time next August."

Sirius takes a good long pull on his fag before putting it out beneath his boot. "Have you told Remus and Peter?" he tries to sound casual, mentioning both of the other Marauders intentionally when his sole thought is of Remus.

"No, not yet, I wanted you to be the first to know," James admits. "For a special reason, even."

"Oh, what's that?" Sirius looks at him quizzically.

"Because Lily and I want you to be his godfather," James surprises Sirius with this request.

"Siriusly?" Sirius' eyes widen to twice their normal size.

"Siriusly," James echoes the familiar pun.

"I don't know..." Sirius shakes his head. "I'm not what you call good godfather material. I'm a fuckup from the getgo, you don't want me, you should ask someone else. Like Remus. He's the dependable one. Not me..."

"No, we want you, Sirius," James maintains, "we know what we want, and you'll be fine, don't call yourself a fuckup, cause you're not..."

"But I am," Sirius replies, dropping his hooded eyes from James' direct gaze. "I really am, mate, believe me..." And before James can respond, he pops up, "You need to get back to your bride, come along," and disappears in the direction of the reception, so that James has no choice but to follow him.

Remus observes the two friends as they return to the rest of the partying throng, of course, he's done nothing else all day but track Sirius' movements, even though he hides the fact very well. But nothing escapes his attention, down to the most minute detail. He realizes that Sirius was no doubt smoking with James, but he can't very well say anything, now can he, not when they aren't even speaking? Of course not.

And it breaks his heart that they aren't speaking - and that he spent the night on the couch rather than going into the bedroom with Sirius. Why? Because he is a coward - a damnable coward - and he hates himself for that. Why is he so afraid of telling people? Okay, it's true that being homosexual isn't exactly universally accepted, and that there are people who hate those who are, and call them terrible names. But dammit, that doesn't change anything, does it? It's what he is - it's what they are. And living a lie and covering it up is denying everything about the love they share - and worst of all, it's hurting Sirius, whom he loves with his whole heart, and who only wants to be able to kiss him in public. Goddammit! Why is life such a bitch sometimes?

"A penny for your thoughts," a voice behind him breaks into his unhappy reveries. He jumps as a hand is laid upon his shoulder, until he realizes that it is just Lily. Now Lily Potter.

"I think you are the most beautiful bride ever," he covers up his thoughts as he gazes at her - although he has to admit she really is radiant. In fact, you could say she glows.

"Why aren't you doing your share of keeping the ladies happy?" she teases him, "you should be dancing, a handsome guy like you? Why are you off here by yourself?"

"I don't really dance, Lils," he says, "not very well. I don't want to ...step on some poor girl's feet you know..." He has managed to avoid more than a cursory conversation or two with Cosette, who appears more interested in Dedalus Diggle anyway, but when he does talk to her, he feels Sirius' eyes upon him. The same way that he stares when Sirius is deep in conversation with Hestia Jones. Ah, the green-eyed monster, how it gnaws and chews at his heart, worrying it like a puppy with a bone. And the thought of his happy little puppy almost drives him to his knees, but he manages to keep a stiff upper lip, and he knows that Lily doesn't suspect a thing.

His mind goes back to the bachelor party, to the way everyone had laughed when they discovered that Lucius Malfoy had a boyfriend, as if it were something wrong. As if it were a dirty little secret. If that is the case, it is because Lucius is married, not because he is gay. Being gay isn't wrong, it is natural, after all. He finds himself pitying Severus for the hellish life he is forced to live, if it is true that he is Lucius' lover. At least neither he nor Sirius is married.

"Oh look, I think Hestia is determined to make Sirius dance with her," Lily's voice recalls him to the present. Sure enough, Hestia is dragging an unwilling Sirius out into the area reserved for dancing, and Remus watches them, wanting it to be him, wanting to be the one that dances with Sirius. The one that holds him and touches him...and shows the world the truth about who and what they are... "You know they make such a cute couple," Lily continues, pounding the stake further into Remus' heart.

Oh such unbearable exquisite torture - as his heart is being shredded within his chest. "Noooooooo," he moans softly, "noooooooooooo..."

"Remus, are you all right?" Lily asks with concern.

"Excuse me, please Lils," Remus says, as oblivious to her question, he walks as if in a dream, through the dancing couples, straight to where Hestia and Sirius are standing on the dance floor, Sirius still not cooperating with the girl's intention of dancing with him. He taps her on the shoulder. "Hestia, if you don't mind, I believe this is my dance... "and when she turns toward him, holding out her hands, he hastily adds, "with my boyfriend," and the girl nods and backs away, although by now he is completely unaware of anything but Sirius, who is gazing at him thunderstruck.

"Remus, what did you say?"

"My boyfriend. I said you are my boyfriend," Remus repeats loudly enough to be heard by any one and everyone, as he takes Sirius gently into his arms, "and this is my dance, and mine alone, and...and...Sirius Black, I love you," as he kisses him square on the lips.

They wind their arms about one another, their lips meshed, their bodies locked together, as for the moment the dance is forgotten in this reunion of heart and soul... and when they come up for air they find everyone about them cheering them. And James and Lily and Hestia are gazing at them fondly.

"About bloody time, you two!" James exclaims.

"What? You mean, you knew?"

"Seriously? Yes, a long long time ago. When we were still in school. We were just letting you make the announcement in your own way and time," Lily smiles.

"But you were so damn slow about it, we thought you needed some help..."

"What?" Sirius' jaw drops in amazement. "You set us up?"

Hestia giggles. "Sirius, you're cute and all, but I have a steady boyfriend. No offense, I was just meant to make Remus jealous..."

"And you did," Remus admits, his face suffusing with colour, but he is smiling beneath it all. "You certainly had me fooled."

"Me too," SIrius says.

"I propose a toast," James says, as champagne is handed all around, "to good friends, may they never be forgotten - and to the ones we love, that we never lose them."

"Hear hear!" Glasses clink together harmoniously.

The night continues with a great joyousness. Sirius drinks too much, as does James, and when Sirius and Remus are homeward bound in the early hours of the morning, the animagus becomes ill on the road - more than once, in fact - as well as all over his poor Remus. But the patient lycanthrope cleans them both up, and lovingly helps him home - to their home - where they climb into bed at last and simply hold one another all night long.


End file.
